A glimpse inside his mind......

So...... hubby installed some proxy thingamajiggy on Ashton's tablet, since he's been watching some rather ummm... risqué videos on YouTube. We want to see what he's watching and possibly block any inappropriate stuff. Most of what he's searching for are pretty benign and it's actually an amazing glimpse into what's going on in his head.

He mostly searches for movies he's already seen. Most movies can be viewed on YouTube in 5-10min increments and you can bounce from clip to clip for each movie after viewing one, since usually the suggestions contain the others. (I didn't know that before Ashton became a YouTube aficionado).

Lately though, he's started watching "older" stuff (remember, he is almost thirteen now); like James Bond (the older ones), Commando, etc. He loves action movies (obviously) and movies with super heroes and comic book characters, Superman, Batman, Iron Man, Hulk, Captain America, etc. Like I said, most is pretty benign..... but boy, some of what he watches (which I can't even identify) is a bit um.... much.

Anyways, as part of the proxy thingamajiggy, the hubby can see exactly what Ashton's typing in the search box on YouTube. Well, imagine his surprise when he found this search string in the logs.... (only edited once for the cussword my son included in this string.... otherwise, this is purely his typing, spelling, spacing (or lack thereof) and thoughts).

YOUWONTBECOMEINGBACKANDYOURNOTARETARDANDYOURNOTANIDIOTANDIAMSORRYFORBEEINGARUDEANDIAMNOTAGIRLANDIAMNOTFUSSEYANDIAMSORRYFORBEEINGMEANANDIAMSORRYFORBEEINGRUDEANDIAMNOTAFUSSEYWIDGEITANDIAMNOTAFUSSEYBOYANDIDONTHEARMEANDANOMAMANDNOTFORLONGANDNOTFORERUININGMYSHIPYOUSONOFAB*TCHANDTHISGUYISBIGANDTHEBLACKANDTHEPURPLEANDTHEGREENMONSTERTRUCKISBIGANDHISNAMEISGRAVEDIGGERANDHEWENTCROSSTHEFINISHLINEANDHEWINTHERACE

translated......

YOU WONT BE COMEING BACK AND YOUR NOT A RETARD AND YOUR NOT AN IDIOT AND I AM SORRY FOR BEEING A RUDE AND I AM NOT A GIRL AND I AM NOT FUSSEY AND I AM SORRY FOR BEEING MEAN AND I AM SORRY FOR BEEING RUDE AND I AM NOT A FUSSEY WIDGEIT AND I AM NOT A FUSSEY BOY AND I DONT HEAR ME AND A NO MAM AND NOT FOR LONG AND NOT FORE RUINING MY SHIP YOU SON OF A B*TCH AND THIS GUY IS BIG AND THE BLACK AND THE PURPLE AND THE GREEN MONSTER TRUCK IS BIG AND HIS NAME IS GRAVEDIGGER AND HE WENT CROSS THE FINISH LINE AND HE WIN THE RACE 

Wow. First off, you'll notice several things in the original. He uses all caps (and not the way most of us would.... he doesn't use caps lock, he hits shift and then the letter for EVERY SINGLE letter he types). He also doesn't put spaces in between his words... oddly enough, he writes the exact same way, although we're working on spacing and it's getting better with his written work. We estimated, based on the logs, that this took him about 6mins and 42secs to type this all out. Now, given Ashton's lack of ability to focus on something for more than a couple of minutes at a time, we're guesstimating that it took him probably around 10minutes. That's a lot of perseverance about wanting to convey a thought.

What's somewhat "ironic".... this is almost verbatim a conversation between my boys and I one morning this week.... and yes, a cuss word was really used. WOW! This shows Ashton's listening to every. single. word. that's being said around him, for him being able to type it all down like this.

I'm thoroughly amazed to be honest. It also means that we all need to be more careful of what we say to each other, and how we say it. Ashton's obviously processing it and hearing it. He's not oblivious. He's aware, very aware. His autism isn't slowing down that part of his brain.

Thought I would share, just a small glimpse into his mind.... for what it's worth. Looks like we need to work on typing skills.... because he can obviously type! :)