It's nearly Christmas!!

Ok - so Christmas is still like 6 weeks away (from today.... YIKES!) but for me that means "Oh my goodness. I have to get my cards ready, get the baking started, buy gifts and start wrapping them, get the house decorated, etc!" However, what's already happened in the name of Christmas is heart-warming.....

So, the boys and I went out to the mall over the weekend to get some much needed winter clothing and jeans for Holden and for Ashton, it was just an experience to get out and walk around a new place (a mall we'd never been to). We saw Santa Claus, and at my boys' ages, 14 and 11, I thought nothing of it. As we walked past where Santa Claus was sitting, Ashton waved at Santa Claus and kind of started walking in that direction. I told him that if Santa Claus was still sitting there on our way back through, that I'd let him stop and say hi. Well, Santa Claus wasn't there and that was that.

The boys and I then went to a different mall on Monday and lo and behold, Santa Claus was there! Ashton got really excited and wanted to talk to Santa Claus. As there was no line and no one in visiting with Santa, I told him to go ahead. He happily walked over to Santa Claus and when Santa Claus asked him what he wanted for Christmas, I wasn't surprised by Ashton's response.

"I want Marc to come home for Christmas and to go get donuts!"

I will admit to a small giggle for the donuts comment; the boy loves himself some donuts! Especially O'doodleDoos! I'm also not ashamed to admit a few tears at Ashton wanting Marc home for Christmas, though it's not surprising that's what his response was. I explained to Santa Claus that Ashton has Autism and that Marc is his super cool best friend who is away at college. When Santa Claus asked "where does Marc go to college?" Ashton quickly responded "Oh! Georgia Tech! He's a Yellowjacket!" Santa Claus then told Ashton "I bet that Marc will be home before I even get to your house on Christmas Eve!" - Ashton just kind of stared like "whoa! how did he know that?" Too cute!

Fortunately, Ashton will get his Christmas wish .... and yes, he'll get it before Santa Claus comes, on December 14th as a matter of fact! He's excited for big hugs and double high 5s! He's promised Marc that he'll be extra good so he can get donuts, and maybe even go racing and if Marc can work it out, Michael Phelpsing (a term coined by Marc, who would probably spend hours in the water with Ashton, if Ashton so desired).

Watching their friendship remain as strong as it's ever been, despite the 500+ miles that separate these two, is a beautiful and amazing thing to witness. The two miss each other very much and I know each has had their moments where they want to be around the other more than anything else. That's okay and it shows the bonds of friendship can remain strong, even when months go by and distance separates. Fortunately with technology being what it is, a Facebook chat and a Skype call can cure the blues nearly every single time! Many letters and drawings have been sent back and forth as well, and there has been no lack of communication between the two.

I for one, can't wait to see the smiles on their faces when they get to see each other in person again and see Ashton's Christmas wish come true! :)

Happy Holidays EVERYONE!

Skype Silliness

How can you not laugh at these two?! LOL!

It was hilarious!

Ashton had a blast chatting with Marc last night and when they started making funny faces at each other, I had to take a couple of pictures! So many giggles, laughs and silly faces make for a fun night.

Best Skype chat ever!

Friendships from afar....

So, I've had a few people ask me (email, messages, etc) how Ashton's handling Marc being away at Georgia Tech and how he's adjusted.

Honestly?

Far better than I could have hoped for!

These are just a few moments that I've been able to capture in the last 4 weeks since Marc left. The first is a picture of Ashton's first letter he received. He's since received a couple of more letters, and one time, even got 3 letters at one time (also pictured), WOW! He's talked to Marc on the phone after the Rock'n'Roll 1/2 marathon (pictured) and he's Skyped MANY times and has gotten quite a few "double high 5s"! Ashton even gave up his usual morning tablet time one morning, to sit down and write Marc a letter so I could get it in the mail that day for him.

Ashton doesn't get upset anymore when Marc and him "hang up" after a Skype call, and he really, only got very upset, once. Marc got back on Skype and Ashton was fine after hanging up that second time. Ashton's gotten into the habit of writing letters if he hasn't gotten to talk to Marc in a few days, which is really helping with his handwriting. He's started writing smaller with each individual letter and is writing longer letters too. He's even taken to sending a few drawings here and there, which I know Marc enjoys. I like to call Ashton's morning ritual of messaging Marc, Kaylie (Marc's amazing, and in Ashton's words "she's pretty", girlfriend) and Amory with silly messages and smilies, his equivalent of a morning cup of coffee. Whether he gets a reply right away or not (today for instance, he and Marc got to chat for a few minutes), doesn't seem to matter. It's just part of his morning routine now and he loves reading the responses whenever he gets them. Ashton's also gotten a bit of a crush on Kaylie, which is so precious! Ashton even told me at one point that he wanted Kaylie to take him for pizza, but has said Marc can come too! Bahaha! Ladies man, that one is! :)

Marc has done everything he can to include Ashton in his college life. I know he's got pictures of him and Ashton up in his dorm room and I know Ashton's a well-known figure in Marc's life. Ashton loves talking to Marc on Skype, but the smile he gets on his face when Marc starts introducing him to whatever group of friends is around, is so sweet. It's like he realizes he's being included even from 9hours away and he loves the attention, smiles, waves and high 5s he gets from all of Marc's "cool college friends". It makes him feel a part of things which is amazing.

Yes, Ashton still misses Marc very, very much and will say so a few times a week. I realized a couple of weeks after Marc left, that maybe a good thing for Ashton would be a countdown calendar to when he'll get to see Marc again. So I printed out the calendars for September to December and wrote down the countdown in the boxes for each date. Ashton gets to place a sticker each day to help him count down the days. We're at 92 days now and counting down.

Ashton chose the Spongebob stickers and loves them, so no judging! :) It keeps him happy and it gives him a concrete date to count down to. Marc also surprised Ashton a week or so ago with the news that he (Marc) will be pushing him in a race when he comes home in December! Ashton can't wait! I will say that Ashton's adjusted to not having Marc push him in the past 2 races pretty well. While the last race was slightly crazy for me (it was just a longer ride for Ashton and I didn't know the guys who pushed him as well as we, obviously, know Marc). It worked out, Ashton had a blast and that's all that really matters in the end. He had fun and these races are about him.

Ashton has also adjusted to high school fantastically, much better than I had expected. I think that's helping with the whole transition. I don't expect every day to be rosey-posey days, but the amazing start he's had leads me to believe that this was very much, the right decision to make moving him back to our home district for high school. 

So all in all, the transition has went far better than I had hoped. Ashton received 2 Georgia Tech surprises this week in the mail, a Georgia Tech t-shirt and a really cool hoodie. He can't wait to wear them! He knows he can message Marc whenever he wants to and that he can Skype with Marc as long as he's not too busy. Even the other day when Marc was busy, they got to Skype for a few minutes - I think they were both missing each other a lot so they needed that face to face time. Two happy smiles emerged from that quick Skype call, so it worked. :)

Ashton's got 3 more months to go until he seems Marc again. I figured this first month would be the hardest, but it went so much better than I had hoped, so I assume the next 3 months will hopefully fly by. He's keeping busy with school and his New Energy P.O.W.E.R. running group and that's helping. Thank you for anyone who has asked and wondered! :) Fortunately, I'm happy to report that he's doing AWESOME! :)

Favorite Pictures from the story

So I had asked the photographer, Vicki Cronis-Nohe, if I could get a copy of the pictures from the article about Marc and Ashton. She happily told me yes and I picked up a copy of them yesterday. There are so many amazing moments that she captured and I'm so glad I now have a real copy of them for us to look back on. She caught some amazing moments that I didn't, so I'm glad to have them and very thankful she shared.

So here they are. I'm going to leave them a bit smallish here, but you can click on each individual one and see the larger image.

HUGE HUGE HUGE thanks Vicki! Your photography skills are AMAZING!!

hands down, my absolute favorite! Ashton's favorite too :)

"Give me eyes, Ashton" - words of wisdom from a 17-year-old, this is one of my other favorites

Thanks again for letting me share these, Vicki! :)

PLEASE DO NOT COPY, EDIT, DOWNLOAD ANY OF THE ABOVE IMAGES!

Because We Can

Remember that letter to the newspaper (link takes you to my original posting about the letter I wrote) I wrote back in late April? Well, what came of that letter became much larger and much more touching than I could have ever imagined. A huge thank you to Vicki Cronis-Nohe for your amazing photography and videography skills. Another huge thank you to Hattie Brown Garrow for putting a friendship into words that I couldn't even begin to describe.

Below you will find the video interview that was done with Marc and Ashton, it's currently up on YouTube and I believe is also viewable through the Virginian-Pilot's "Evening Pilot" app, available only on iPad. On August 23rd, the story about Marc and Ashton was the highlight cover story for the app and it was so cool to get an early read of the story. Made for an amazing birthday surprise since it was available 2 days early! You will also find the links below for the actual story on the Virginian-Pilot's online website, and a link to the photo gallery.



An Unexpected Friendship
The link above will take you directly to the article which will give you access to the video and the photo gallery :)

With all of that being viewed and said.....

Don't believe that you can change someone's life?

You may never know that you, yourself, are missing from someone's life, or that you're missing someone from your own life until you take a chance with a new experience. Sometimes stepping out of the box of everyday comfort can be difficult, but what happens when you do so, may change your life forever. You may change someone else's life forever. You may be the one person who can unlock the windows and break down the walls of someone's tough facade.  Marc did just that, 14months ago. I think I can speak for him and say that what happened in the months since then, was not something he had expected. Nor was it something that we, as Ashton's family, expected. But we are forever grateful and blessed to have been open to change, open to meeting new people and experiencing new things. For without the amazing experiences these two incredible young men have gone through over that time, we would have never realized so much was going on in Ashton's heart that he couldn't tell us.

As I said in my letter to the newspaper four months ago "Thank you to Marc. You've given us our son back. You've opened the doors and windows to his soul and we're finally learning things about Ashton that before we never knew about. You've made me a true believer in the youth of today. With so many horror stories about children with Autism being bullied, it's a true breath of fresh air to see the polar opposite in the loving friendship you and Ashton share. You two make an incredible team and we couldn't be more happy and blessed to know you and your incredible family. Thank you for being exactly the friend Ashton needed at the moment we least expected it . We'll never be able to forget it."

This is all been a blessing; an amazing, beautiful and wonderful experience for all involved, both families and all the friends and extended families of those of us immediately involved. Thank you for letting us share their story with you.

Much love and gratitude,
The McCormick & Leber families

Never say Goodbye......

"Never say goodbye, because saying

goodbye means going away,

and going away means forgetting."

How true is that quote....

First off I want to say sorry that I've been "away" in the land of blogging. We've had an incredibly busy, but fulfilling summer this year making lots of amazing memories with friends and family. I'm posting this just to kind of give a heads up on what's been going on.

We are blessed beyond measure to have met Marc and his parents, Andrea and Ernie Leber last summer. I don't want this to dwell on the sadness that Marc's departure to Georgia Tech today leaves us with, but I did want to post about some of my own feelings with him leaving.

First off, it's amazing how you never know something or someone is missing from your life, until they've walked in, left their mark on your life and in your heart, and then leave for new experiences. Marc, you are such a person. We didn't know that you were missing from Ashton's life, but we certainly feel it with your departure to Georgia Tech today. 

Marc has been an instrumental person in helping Ashton come out of his shell of Autism. Those who knew Ashton prior to June 16, 2012 can tell you that Ashton is not the same child now as he was back then. Back then he was just coming out of the huge regression that had plagued him for his entire 6th grade year and part of his 7th grade year. He was finally on an upswing behaviorally, but was still falling behind socially and it was heartbreaking. He didn't really seem to care about others, wasn't yet reading facial expressions and emotions and just lacked awareness of others around him. He didn't seem to care about being or having friends. The morning of June 16, 2012 changed his life and little by little over the last 14months, I've seen Ashton come back to life. His amazingly happy-go-lucky personality has come back, he's social and verbal and he loves being around people.

To say that Ashton adores Marc and worships him is a huge understatement. I've never seen Ashton ask for someone with the same longing that he does with Marc. I don't think he quite understands yet what 'Marc being away at college' means but I hope with patience, love and understanding that he'll realize that just because Marc is further away, doesn't mean that he's any less his friend or big brother. Yes, I said it.... Ashton calls Marc his big brother. I've never seen Ashton forge such a close bond with someone as he has with Marc. Ashton loves high 5s and double high 5s, but the smiles that he gives when he gets them from Marc is on a whole different level than when he receives them from someone else. He's just different when Marc is around, and different in a wonderful and beautiful way. I hope that sticks.

Ashton smiles nearly all the time now and when he poses for pictures (you do see his cheesy grin and poses above, right?! :)), he's just relaxed and well, happy. I don't want to lose that super happy part of his personality. Going to high school is a huge transition in and of itself but he's also coming back to our own home community that was sorely lacking in knowledge and compassion when he was at the middle school level. I'm hoping  and have faith that the high school level will be better. Having Marc move away is another big change for him and one that I think may actually be harder for him than changing schools. Maybe I'm over thinking it all. But Ashton's level of social awareness is what scares me. He realizes the dynamics of things around him are changing and he sometimes feeds from that which can be both good and bad. I will take the fact that he's aware of what's going on around him any day over the little boy who for so long lived in his own little, closed off world and wouldn't let anyone in.

Hoping for some peace and and happiness for my boy... that's all I want. For him to be happy, progressing and making new friends. Thank you Marc and family for blessing us with your friendship and love! Andrea and Ernie, if you ever want to borrow a kid, Ashton's ready! ;) You know he loves your comic book collections and just hanging out at your house. He'll even eat you out of house and home, just like he does us here at home! lol :)

Seriously, I'm hoping the best for everyone involved with this transition ..... and to Marc, have a BLAST at GA Tech! :) You should have received your first letter from us upon your arrival :) Best of luck to you in your new adventures and remember, study hard, make lots of new friends and most of all, remember Rule #3: HAVE FUN!!! :) We are excited to see what this new chapter of life brings you and can't wait to be a small part of it. 

Marc, thank you also for allowing Ashton one last chance to hang out with his favorite person doing his most favorite thing ever, swimming at the beach and Michael Phelpsing (a phrase coined by you and Ashton). I'm glad we were all able to give hugs and say "See You Later" with smiles on our faces and remember all of the amazing experiences you two have had together. I know the future will bring new memories, new moments and lots of new experiences for you both and I can't wait. Until we see you again kid! Remember, we are only a letter, call, text or Skype chat away!

And I will leave this post with the "We Will Miss You" movie that I made for Marc. It was an extremely cathartic experience putting this video together, picking songs, what to caption, what to say, etc. You may want to turn your speakers up ALL THE WAY initially as Ashton does some speaking/talking in the very beginning of the video. Below the video is the text for what Ashton said.



Hi Marc. It's me Ashton.

I want to say thank you for being a super awesome best friend and big brother. Being around you makes me happy. You and I have lots of fun together. We race (and you run super fast), we hang out (and laugh and act silly) but most of all, you let me be exactly who I am.

No matter if I'm flapping my hands, saying silly things that make no sense or just kind of staring off into space, you accept what I am and what I do and realize it's just a part of what makes me the super cool guy that I am.

I will do good work in high school and I know you will do good work in college. I will make new friends and so will you. I know we will still talk on Skype and on Facebook and I am already working on my first letter to you. 

I will miss giving you high fives, double high fives and I will miss your big hugs. I will miss racing with you and coming in first. I will miss our random conversations about whatever is on our minds. I will miss just hanging out and being silly. But most of all, I will just miss you.

Thank you for being my super awesome and fun best friend and big brother. I hope I see you soon and I love you. For now, I will say "see you later".