Favorite Pictures from the story

So I had asked the photographer, Vicki Cronis-Nohe, if I could get a copy of the pictures from the article about Marc and Ashton. She happily told me yes and I picked up a copy of them yesterday. There are so many amazing moments that she captured and I'm so glad I now have a real copy of them for us to look back on. She caught some amazing moments that I didn't, so I'm glad to have them and very thankful she shared.

So here they are. I'm going to leave them a bit smallish here, but you can click on each individual one and see the larger image.

HUGE HUGE HUGE thanks Vicki! Your photography skills are AMAZING!!

hands down, my absolute favorite! Ashton's favorite too :)

"Give me eyes, Ashton" - words of wisdom from a 17-year-old, this is one of my other favorites

Thanks again for letting me share these, Vicki! :)

PLEASE DO NOT COPY, EDIT, DOWNLOAD ANY OF THE ABOVE IMAGES!

School preparation is underway

WOW

4 more days and I will officially be able to call myself the mom of a high schooler and a middle schooler. That freaks me out! I'm not ready!

Ashton's going to HIGH SCHOOL?! 9th grade, here he comes!

Holden's going to MIDDLE SCHOOL?! 6th grade, here he comes!

I am so incredibly proud of both of my boys. As nervous as I am for both of them to begin these new chapters of their lives (middle school and high school are big deals, no matter what anyone says!), I know that they will each meet the new, higher expectations and challenges set forth for them. Moving up to a new school is always a source of nerves and anxiety for both boys. They seem to be taking it in stride though. Ashton surprised us yesterday when we went to the high school to meet his teacher/case manager and he walked us all the way around the school and directly to her classroom without us telling him how to get there! We've only been to the school a couple of times and only walked by her classroom once the day before, so I was pretty amazed. The boy has an internal compass like no other, that's for sure! He seemed pretty happy and content in her classroom, other than putting his head down on the desk a lot. I explained to her that he doesn't like bright lights and she assured me that all of the overhead lights would be off on Tuesday except one. She's a very "out of the box" thinker and after meeting with her yesterday and such, I think Ashton will have an amazing year. We'll see how he does with his electives; adaptive art and adaptive business consumers technology class. 

Holden seemed to grasp the concept of moving from one classroom to another for his schedule at the middle school. We met all of his teachers and the subs for 2 of the teachers (who are, or will be, on maternity leave soon) and he said they all seem nice. :) I think the first week will be a little confusing but once he gets the hang of things, he'll do just fine. I'm more concerned about his lack of organizational skills (he comes by that honest, I am NOT a very organized person) and how he'll manage to keep everything straight in his locker, etc. I know middle school is a time of huge transition and hormones, etc kicking. I just hope he keeps his head on straight and pulls through the first few weeks with flying colors. His schedule is a bit more relaxed this fall than in previous years as he's not playing fall soccer. He is still running with the New Energy group out in Suffolk, but as we've told him, school comes first. If he's not done with homework, he's not going to practice. That simple. He has to make a concerted effort to make sure he's accomplishing everything in a timely manner. We've set the stage for that in that he comes home from school and immediately starts his homework. I'll be in touch with his teachers after the first week to see if they've noticed any issues, and I'm hoping Holden relieves all fears I have by just being awesome without little follow up on my part. Part of middle school is teaching these kids to be responsible for themselves, etc but we know how that goes. :)

Can't wait to see how the first day and week of school goes! Onwards and upwards! 

Because We Can

Remember that letter to the newspaper (link takes you to my original posting about the letter I wrote) I wrote back in late April? Well, what came of that letter became much larger and much more touching than I could have ever imagined. A huge thank you to Vicki Cronis-Nohe for your amazing photography and videography skills. Another huge thank you to Hattie Brown Garrow for putting a friendship into words that I couldn't even begin to describe.

Below you will find the video interview that was done with Marc and Ashton, it's currently up on YouTube and I believe is also viewable through the Virginian-Pilot's "Evening Pilot" app, available only on iPad. On August 23rd, the story about Marc and Ashton was the highlight cover story for the app and it was so cool to get an early read of the story. Made for an amazing birthday surprise since it was available 2 days early! You will also find the links below for the actual story on the Virginian-Pilot's online website, and a link to the photo gallery.



An Unexpected Friendship
The link above will take you directly to the article which will give you access to the video and the photo gallery :)

With all of that being viewed and said.....

Don't believe that you can change someone's life?

You may never know that you, yourself, are missing from someone's life, or that you're missing someone from your own life until you take a chance with a new experience. Sometimes stepping out of the box of everyday comfort can be difficult, but what happens when you do so, may change your life forever. You may change someone else's life forever. You may be the one person who can unlock the windows and break down the walls of someone's tough facade.  Marc did just that, 14months ago. I think I can speak for him and say that what happened in the months since then, was not something he had expected. Nor was it something that we, as Ashton's family, expected. But we are forever grateful and blessed to have been open to change, open to meeting new people and experiencing new things. For without the amazing experiences these two incredible young men have gone through over that time, we would have never realized so much was going on in Ashton's heart that he couldn't tell us.

As I said in my letter to the newspaper four months ago "Thank you to Marc. You've given us our son back. You've opened the doors and windows to his soul and we're finally learning things about Ashton that before we never knew about. You've made me a true believer in the youth of today. With so many horror stories about children with Autism being bullied, it's a true breath of fresh air to see the polar opposite in the loving friendship you and Ashton share. You two make an incredible team and we couldn't be more happy and blessed to know you and your incredible family. Thank you for being exactly the friend Ashton needed at the moment we least expected it . We'll never be able to forget it."

This is all been a blessing; an amazing, beautiful and wonderful experience for all involved, both families and all the friends and extended families of those of us immediately involved. Thank you for letting us share their story with you.

Much love and gratitude,
The McCormick & Leber families

To "One Pissed Off Mother"

By now, I'm sure most of you have seen this rather nasty letter that was slipped under the door of an Ontario, Canada family's home. When I first read this letter, I was pissed off. Actually, I was more than pissed off, I was thoroughly enraged that someone could be just so mean to write such things. Telling a family to donate the "non-retarded parts to science" and to "euthanize their child"? How cruel. To top it off and to be so cowardly as to do so anonymously? Do they really think they won't be found out? As most know, we too, are a family that lives with Autism on a daily basis. While my own son doesn't have the same behaviors and characteristics as the child referenced in this letter, my heart breaks for this family to have been exposed to such hatred and vengeance and yes I'll say it, flat out ignorance and stupidity.

But now, a few days later, I'm filled with pity for this one pissed off mother and filled with happiness and peace knowing the community has rallied around the family and their amazing child. But I ask, why does it take such a heinous act to bring out the good in people? I know there are good people in this world. We've been blessed ourselves with an amazing group of people who not only support our choices for our son, but accept him for the incredible human being that he is and want only the best for him. They worry right alongside us when he's having a bad time, and they rejoice in every milestone reached, no matter how long it's taken him to achieve such milestone. They understand his quirks, his mannerisms are just a part of what makes him who he is.

To One Pissed Off Mother,

I can only hope that your children (if you are really, indeed, a mother) have been sheltered from the hatred and ignorance that you spewed in your letter. I hope that despite having such a vile human being as their mother, that they turn out to be amazing individuals who seek out those less fortunate and those with special needs and do everything they can to understand and live beside these people as a community. I hope they learn to accept that no one person is better than the next, and that their life is not to be valued any more than anyone else's. We are all humans living on this great planet, and everyone deserves a chance to be understood. Everyone deserves to be accepted. Everyone deserves a chance to be loved.

I wanted to hope that you'd get a chance to walk in this family's shoes, for just one moment. To live life as they have to, worrying about their child with Autism. Worrying what the community around them thinks. Worrying about the educational worries that goes along with having a special needs child. Worrying that your child may never fit into a world not meant for them, but knowing that they have to learn. Worrying about what happens when they themselves die? Learning to live with the mantra that "I need to live one day more than my child." But, you don't deserve that chance. You would throw away that blessing like a used up paper towel without ever realizing that your life would have been forever changed, for the better. 

Being the mom of a child with Autism, I can assure you, that this life is not always an easy one but we are infinitely blessed to be given the gift of raising our child. He's the biggest blessing we could have ever hoped for or been given. I love my son more than life itself, and I hope that he knows that. I also have what you would probably consider a "normal" child (I hate that term with a passion, by the way). My "normal" child is far wiser, far kinder and far more understanding of special needs than you will ever hope to be. He is one of his big brother's biggest fans, and he will do anything for him. He has gotten upset when people have stared and made comments directed towards his brother, as he understands just how wrong it is to do so. He's the younger "big brother" and he plays that part very well, without ever being asked to. He just does, because he knows that without us, our son wouldn't have the support system that he has. His family is the most important part of that support system and if we fail him, than so does that support system.

I hope only that with time, you will learn to feel remorseful for the hatred you spewed. That you will come to see how ignorant and vile you were. I hope you will apologize to this family and that you will truly mean it. I hope you will take it upon yourself to learn more about Autism. You need to be educated. You need to be aware. Most of us never asked to be the parents of special needs children, be it Autism or anything else. But most of us will also tell you, we have learned far more from our children's courage and dignity than we can ever hope to teach that child. I can promise you that your life will be infinitely blessed and enriched if you can rid yourself of the hatred that you have deep inside and learn to accept those with differences.

Come forth, accept the consequences of your actions and then let yourself be free to acceptance and forgiveness.

One Perfect Day: Surfers Healing 2013

Our fourth Surfers Healing experience with the Surfers Healing VB crew.

Our second Surfers Healing VB 5K experience.

Our first race without Ashton's best friend and favorite Team Hoyt VB pusher, who is away at college.

All of that equalled one amazing experience, literally, One Perfect Day.

One. Perfect. Day. 

That was the theme of this year's Surfers Healing experience. August 17, 2013 did not disappoint. Nor did the night before either. On August 16th, there was an amazing Welcome Luau for the surfers of Surfers Healing on the Virginia Beach Oceanfront. Amazing food, great entertainment (the boys enjoyed watching the dancers) and the opportunity to connect with members of the Autism community is always a major plus. Meeting the Surfers and reconnecting with some of our favorites from years past is always a blessed moment. We trepidatiously watched the weather forecase all day and were overjoyed when the Surfers Healing VB folks decided to go ahead with the luau.

Happy Boys prior to the Luau....

We arrived at the Oceanfront for the luau and immediately started running into friends that we knew. The boys were starving,  and were so ready to eat dinner. Luckily, shortly after we got there they started serving food and the dancers and entertainment started. The girls looked beautiful in their costumes and were wonderful dancers.

Then the introduction of the surfers took place. Ashton was thrilled to see his past favorites, Kalani Brown, Kalani Kahalioumi, and Izzy Paskowitz as well as meeting some of the others. 

I knew I was in for a treat when Ashton started wondering around looking for his favorites, wanting to say hi. What a little social butterfly he's become! He was thrilled to see both Kalani's as well as seeing Izzy again. It's always heart-warming to see how these "big surfer dudes" interact with this amazing population of children and families. 

Ashton and "little" Kalani Brown
I was shocked Ashton remembered that this was "little" Kalani upon seeing him!
Kalani had surfed with Ashton on his second time out last year and Ashton loved it.
One of those heart-warming moments that shows Ashton is "aware" and not just plodding through life.

Ashton and the man, Izzy Paskowitz
Always a pleasure to see how Izzy relates to these kids. Izzy's way of connecting with these kids and getting eye
contact from even the most stubborn of kids. He even complimented Ashton in his "good talking" and social skills! Izzy even asked Ashton where his sunglasses were! He remembered that conversation from a
couple of years ago! Amazing considering the number of kids Izzy comes in
contact with every year. Thank You for remembering!

Ashton, the 'blue surfer' Kalani Kahalioumi and Holden
Kalani was Ashton's first surfer back in 2010. He is one of those special souls that Ashton just connected with,
at a time that he didn't easily connect with strangers, or even those outside of his immediate family.
Fortunately, we consider Kalani an extended member of our family now and we even exchange
holiday cards and such at Christmas. Ashton was also thrilled to realize he's nearly
as tall as Kalani now! You know, priorities! :)

We left the luau after meeting new friends, connecting with some previously "Facebook-only" friends and having seen some old friends from various Autism groups and running groups that we're a part of. Ashton even found a little-bitty cute baby that he absolutely adored meeting. He went up and introduced himself to baby Jacob and his family. What was so sweet was the interaction between Ashton and this family. Blair and Jacob, thank you for being so understanding with Ashton's impulses and letting him give the baby kisses and hugs. I've only heard about Baby Jacob about a million and one times since we met you on Friday (hahaha), and Ashton has loved seeing your pictures on Facebook. I'm so glad Aydin had a wonderful time surfing! What a little cutie pie she is!

It was interactions like that one, that lets me know that we've got an amazing and supportive autism community in this area. People are so understanding and forgiving. Not many people would take too kindly to this big 14-year-old boy running up to them and wanting to impulsively touch their baby and give them kisses.

We left the luau with the promise of waves and a fun time the next morning. Ashton was super stoked for the Surfers Healing 5K race and then to surf again. Home for meds, bedtime and packing out stuff up for a fun day at the beach the next day.

I was only slightly worried about how Ashton would do in this first race with Marc being away at college. Fortunately, Marc had helped arrange for his friend, Amory Langley, to push Ashton in this race. I later found out it was a mutual decision between Marc and Amory for this to work out, and for that gentlemen, I am grateful. It helped would could have been a traumatic experience for Ashton, be very pleasant and a lot of fun. Also pushing Ashton in this race was Michael Davis, a fellow Team Hoyt VB runner and dear friend of ours who had pushed Ashton with Marc in last year's Surfers Healing 5K race.

Ashton and Amory, pre-race

Amory, Ashton and Michael, pre-race

Fortunately, nothing could dampen the excitement surrounding the Team Hoyt VB group on Saturday morning the 17th, not even the cool, windy and dreary looking weather. This was to be Amory's first race with Team Hoyt VB and his excitement was a bit catching! Ashton had an amazing 5K race thanks to Amory who finished with a time of 22:58 and also with Michael who finished with a time of 23:37. Amory wanted to make a final push for the finish line so him and Ashton crossed the finish line without Michael. The look of determination on Amory's face was kind of hilarious, seeing as how I'd never really gotten to see him run before. I can see now why he and Marc get along so well. Two peas in a pod those two. David and Holden also ran this race and finished with times of 47:21 and 28:23, respectively. Impressive times by all of them!

Nearing the finish line - Way to run!

Team Ashton ROCKS!

Holden nearing the finish line! As always - perfect form! :)

David, smiling after walking his 5K this time around.
Not sure I'd be so happy after a 5K, even if I was walking!

Then it was time to scope out our place on the beach. We had my inlaws (hubby's parents and his brother) as well as Amory hanging out with us, and a little later, Ashton's former teacher would arrive to hang out as well.

Ashton got his baby fix - baby Jack!!! :)

He didn't even mind sharing his hat with Jack :)

Ashton's surf time was scheduled for 10am and it wasn't long after we got settled that they started calling for Group 3, 10:00am surf time kids. Following in Marc's footsteps from last year, Amory led Ashton over to the line of kids to wait and get his life jacket on.

Ashton had a blast hanging out with Amory!

Ashton decided once again to surf SOLO! This always freaks me out a bit initially, and slightly disappoints, only because when he's asked a question, he nearly almost always answers yes. I know he'd enjoy surfing with someone steering him through the waves probably even more than he does surfing alone. But, he was determined, so off he went, and went he did. He had a BLAST!

hand in hand, he walks off with a volunteer

quick lesson before he gets in the water

A quick little video of Ashton surfing..... :)

Then, I came across this amazing image of Ashton surfing, from Danny Holland, a local professional photographer. This image is actually copied off his Facebook page, so it's not the greatest of quality, but that winning smile makes it my absolute favorite image of Ashton surfing, ever!

Thank you Danny for capturing this amazing picture!

Thank you again to Mr. Christian and Ms. Sonya for assisting Ashton in the water
and making his second solo surfing experience so enjoyable and fun!

That was it. Ashton had a blast! His fourth experience with Surfers Healing had been his best one yet. His first race with Marc being away had went off wonderfully due to Amory's willingness to step in for Marc and with Michael's help, Ashton had a great 5K. His social growth was apparent, his connections with people was apparent and he just had a blessed and wonderful time. 

We're number 1! Hanging out at Tini's frozen yogurt bar. 

But that wasn't the end of his day.... oh no, there was still a surprise in store for him! Marc and Ashton got to Skype Saturday evening, the first of what I'm sure will be many such conversations while Marc is away at Georgia Tech. Just the interactions, even over the computer was so cute and typical of these two. We met Marc's roommate, Andrew (hope I got that right! lol) and Marc's girlfriend, Kaylie. But what warmed my heart, more than anything, was how Ashton and Marc gave each other double high 5s over the computer, just as they would normally do in person. So sweet. Ashton was excited to see and talk to Marc and luckily Marc took Ashton's constant jumping up from the computer very well. After we got done talking to Marc and hung up from the Skype call, Ashton kept looking over at my computer to see if Marc was still there. So cute.

One perfect day. One day away from judgement. One day where Ashton could be as impulsive as he wanted to be and no one would stare. One perfect day with friends, new and old. One perfect day, racing with his favorite group of people. One perfect day surfing. One perfect day of summer.

Yes, it was quite simply, One Perfect Day.