What a difference..... Surfers Healing 2011

Look at that smile!! :) PURE happiness and joy!
The ocean heals my soul when I see that look of pure excitement!

Thanks to Emily Peat for this wonderful picture of Ashton

Surfers Healing 2011 in Virginia Beach, did not disappoint. It was a beautifully sunny, warm, light breezy day. Perfect weather for surfing!

CFA sandwiches are a FAVE!

Since we've done this before, we knew a lot more about what to expect. Got Ashton signed in, received his goody bag and all of our t-shirts, and went and found a spot on the beach. We ran into many friends and the excitement was in the air! Funny enough, my family and went ahead and grabbed a spot while I was talking to a friend. After I sat down, I realized another group of friends were in front of us; the Peko Family!

We got there right as lunch was being served; Chick-Fil-A chicken sandwiches! The camp was running a little behind, trying to wait for the surfers and volunteers to catch a breath from the morning heat of surfing, plus allowing them time to eat and take a break. Plus, they were waiting for some better waves, as the waves petered out a bit in the afternoon.

Ashton's surf time was scheduled at 1pm, though he didn't go out until around 2:00 because of the delay. He was so excited, as he knew exactly what to expect! He was slightly disappointed that he didn't get to surf with his surfer from last year, Kalani Kahalioumi, but I think once he was out on the water, he didn't mind one bit! There weren't very many waves during Ashton's time out in the water, but he did get to ride a couple of smaller waves in. He greatly enjoyed just laying on the surfboard out on the water; what an extremely calming effect.

But, what excited me the most wasn't the way Ashton was in the water, it was how social Ashton was this year, in comparison to last year. I don't know if it was the vibe or energy of those around us, or if he's really just made that much progress, but wow, amazing. We had seen Kalani the night before at the Welcome Luau at the Virginia Beach Oceanfront. He'd given Ashton a gift (a poster of himself surfing) and gave hugs, etc with a promise to "see you tomorrow!".  I cannot tell you how many times I heard "Where's Kalani? Where's surfing? Where's Kalani? Where's surfing" the entire ride home and even afterwards. It was hard getting him wrangled into bed that night, but he went, begrudgingly.

When we arrived at the beach Saturday, we looked for Kalani. We ended up heading over to the tents where the surfers were taking a break, eating lunch and chilling out. We saw Kalani (after asking several people where he was) and Ashton got a huge grin on his face and was so excited! He got even more excited when Kalani started introducing him to all the surfers as his buddy. At this point, I paused, because I was amazed at the transformation in my son. He was talking, laughing and being a total social butterfly! This time last year, he would have shied away from them, not knowing what to say. This year however, he was wanting to meet everyone and excitedly talked to anyone who would listen! He caught a glimpse of Izzy Paskowitz and said "I saw him on TV" so the surfers gathered us around and introduced Ashton as a fan! :) We got a couple of great pictures, gave Izzy hugs and I thanked him for all he does for our special children with Autism. What a gracious, generous, teddy bear of a man. So humble and so normal! Ashton had a blast meeting all the surfers, and I'm so glad they didn't mind our interruption.

Mahalo to all of the surfers who gave my son much aloha and many happy memories! We now can't wait until next year! Our entire family had a wonderful time watching the transformation of these kids in the water and I'm continuously amazed at how such a busy event can be run so smoothly.

Special thank you's to Izzy, Kalani, Pito and Tim ..... I can't remember the names of all the surfers we met yesterday but I greatly appreciate the time and effort you all make to help our children feel the love and acceptance that they so greatly deserve.

Here are a few pics from yesterday..... enjoy!

Izzy Paskowitz (founder of Surfers Healing) and Ashton

Izzy grabbed his "cool man" sunglasses for another cute shot!

Getting suited up

Getting led over to his surfer w/ a volunteer

Ridin' a wave in with his surfer, Tim (look at that smile!)

Ridin' the second wave in....

Thank you Tim for your patience and kindness!

Ashton with last year's surfer, Kalani Kahalioumi - TY for the gift! 

Thank you so much everyone! Surfers Healing, Surfers Healing VB, all of the volunteers, the surfers, the families who shared their children with us all, and most of all, thank you God for putting Angels on Earth like these tireless people, who can give us a day away from judgement, away from the stares and puts us with a group of people that we can laugh with and share our joys with.

Gift from Kalani (trying to get a frame for it)

Until next year,

The littlest heros.... the siblings

I know I've posted about Holden, Ashton's younger brother many times..... well, Holden is Ashton's wind beneath his wings..... :)

But, have I told you how awesome he is?

<~~~~ That beautiful baby boy, was the single best and most important thing we ever did for Ashton. I mean yes, we had a second child because we wanted one and knew a second child would round out our beautiful family. But what we didn't know at the time, was just how important of a role Holden would play in helping Ashton. We didn't realize just how crucial Ashton's well-being and independence would be and what role Holden would play in that. Never did we realize how good of a therapist Holden would be. A built-in and free therapist, imagine that?! :)

Holden has always been early at meeting his milestones. I mean heck, he came out, 3.5weeks early after a 2.5hour labor! ;) He's been early at everything! hahaha! He started walking around 8-9ish months, started talking shortly after his 1st birthday and he was talking non-stop by the time he was 18months old. Holden knew all shapes, colors, ABCs (upper and lowercase and all sounds) by his 2nd birthday and was singing the Star Spangled Banner and was saying the Pledge of Allegiance by his 3rd birthday and also knew his full name, birthdate and phone number and address.

<~~~~ That is a picture of Ashton and I the summer before Holden was born. I got pregnant the month after this picture was taken. We were still undergoing the diagnostic process for his Autism (meaning, we knew something was up, but didn't have a label yet) and had decided, if I didn't get pregnant by the end of that summer, that we would remain a one-child household. Well, Holden was meant to be, because I found out the day before mine and hubby's birthdays (August 23rd) that I was pregnant. Ashton underwent testing for seizures (MRI, EEG) and genetic screenings and blood tests. Everything came back normal, but we knew something was going on with our precious boy. We found out in November of 2001; Autism. The scarlet letter of developmental delays. He rated on the severe end of the scale, and we were left wondering what that would mean for our sweet boy. We found out in December of 2001 that our new baby would be another boy. While I was sad at the thought of never experiencing having a little girl, I know now, that our second and last little boy was exactly what God had planned for us. In January of 2002, Ashton started school, a preschool class for special ed children. His teacher (Ms. Cindy) was an Angel on Earth (though she may dispute that!). I greatly admired (and still do!) this woman; she has a huge huge heart, has special needs children of her own and yet, was going to school to finish her schooling and was teaching special ed kids. Because of her, Ashton learned incredibly quickly. He quickly picked up on the communication skills that laid the groundwork for us to be able to hear his sweet voice. At first, he used PECS cards and used those for communication. On April 16, 2002, Holden made his grand appearance! Ashton's teachers knew when he didn't come to school that day, that I'd likely had the baby. When Ashton returned to school the next day, we sent in pictures of his new baby brother and he wore his "I'm the big brother" t-shirt! :) What a grand moment for him.

I was fortunate in that I got to stay at home with Holden. Ashton was in school full day when Holden was only 4months old, so he got lots of 1:1 mommy time despite being a second child. We went to playgroups, LLL meetings (LaLecheLeague; it's for breastfeeding mothers), and we were hardly ever home! :) Lots of mommy & Holden time. At this point, Ashton didn't pay much attention to Holden I don't think. He was still very much "in his own world", although I would often get pictures like that one ~~~~ ^. Beautiful, aren't they?

It wasn't until Holden was around a year old, that Ashton became more aware of this little being that had set up residence in our home. Holden was walking already (Ashton didn't walk until he was nearly two-years-old; now known to be because of hypotonia in his upper extremeties) and was talking pretty clearly for being so young. We had moved right around this time and that had set Ashton back quite a little ways. But, what was quickly becoming apparent was, he dearly loved his little brother. So sweet! <3<3<3

As the boys grew older, and over the years..... Holden's personality came to light. He would not be ignored. It's just not in his personality. He also helped Ashton come out of his shell. Due to Holden's outgoing personality, and his precociousness, Ashton was seldom able to withdraw when Holden was around. Holden loved to play and interact and never had any problems adjusting to a special needs brother; Ashton was just who he was meant to be, his big brother. See ^^^ pure idolization of his big brother, and I think it was mutual between the two of them. They would put up from each other, what they would put up from no one else.

and here's some more pics, story will continue afterwards.....

Ashton would have never wore this if
Holden wouldn't of had the same costume!

Trip up to NOVA '07 - LOVED the carousel in the mall

Holden's first day of kindergarten - MY how he grew!

Ashton at the special games for his school

Look at that smile - RUNNIN'!


Fun with friends



FAMILY PICTURE - ALL 4 of us!


Fun with family friends!
(I Promise, no kids were harmed in the taking of this photo! LOL)

Still feelin' that brotherly love <3

One of the first years Ashton REALLY got into Christmas '09

This was also the year Ashton decided to give himself a hair cut! :P

Happy 12th Birthday Ashton and Happy 9th Birthday Holden!

and now we are here today (well okay.... a few weeks ago LOL) ..... :) 

Holden has helped his brother immensely over the years. But, I think what has helped Ashton the most, is Holden being exactly who he is, so that Ashton can become the young man who he is supposed to be. Ashton is now a very verbal and social creature. Almost always happy, and talking non-stop! Ashton now has a pretty engaging personality. You can't talk to him and not smile. He's so funny and comes up with some really cute things to say! Sure, he's not at a twelve-year-old level, and I doubt he'll ever be totally age-appropriate, but he's come such a long ways from where we started. Holden has been the biggest part of that. Holden knows that sometimes, we can't just go out and do fun things, because Ashton just can't always handle that stuff. He's been put on the back burner on many occasions because of Ashton's therapies, school issues, etc. Holden is now coming into his own, now that he's getting older. Holden is very smart, very active, and is quite a talker. He gets very good grades and is well-liked by all of his peers and teachers. He's quite popular at school, as Ashton paved the way for him! As night and day as my boys are, they are both a very special part of our family. Ashton has taught us that slow and steady wins the race, and Holden has taught us that gettin' up and goin' and havin' fun is a good thing too. They're both sweet, loveable and funny as all get out. And the love they have for each other? Unsurmountable. They're best friends and stick up for one another when they think the other is being wronged. Holden has picked good friends, all of whom have accepted Ashton for who he is, not what he has. Ashton is a book-lovin', movie--watchin' fiend while Holden is a video-game playin' and runnin' around actin' crazy goofball. But, at the end of the day... they're both ours. Our sweet boys who are both growing up into incredible young men.

My hope for them is to always remain friends, always look out for one another, and always remember, that blood runs thicker than water. Family is family, and they do for one another. and Thank you for being the two best sons any mom could ever ask for!

Love you BOTH very very much!

The little lion? that's Holden..... in 2006 on the homecoming float for his school


One of my favorite pics of Holden, EVER!

First soccer game - ala Karate Kid! LOL

No idea what the silly faces were for, but I LOVE it!

2nd place in his VERY FIRST wrestling tourney! AWESOME!

Holden took this picture, with my little p&s camera - photographer in the making?

VERY first GOLD MEDAL in wrestling!

Small, but MIGHTY!

he had some anxiety about the tube initially, but then wanted
to keep going back out in it! :) YAY!

I'm always proud of both of my boys' accomplishments, but I try to make sure Holden gets the extra attention he deserves. He's had to give up a lot with having a special needs brother, and has always taken it in stride. He's a very sweet kid, and this post is for him :) I hope you've enjoyed the story and the pictures :) Thanks for letting me share

Have a nice day!

How a stare or an unkind word can hurt further than you can see....

It constantly amazes me at how the world as I know it, is unkind and not made for my special guy. While both of my guys struggle with their difficulties, Ashton just can't pass as "normal" like Holden can and does. Despite Holden's ADHD/anxiety, his meds keep most of his symptoms at bay so for all intents and purposes, he's a completely typical 9-year-old and appears that way. Ok, so well... a small 9-year old ;) He is after all, only 50lbs and 51in tall.

If you see me and my son in the store..... here's what I hope you will not do.

First off, when you see me have him climb into a shopping cart, don't look at me weird. I do this, because Ashton can and does sometimes run. In a place like Walmart or Target where I do a lot of shopping, I need him to be contained. Yes, I know.... he's big (120lbs and nearly 5 foot tall) and looks goofy sitting in the back, but live a day in my life of having to chase him down and I can bet you won't judge me anymore.

**TIP**
Lifting the front part of the cart (where a small child would sit) up from the inside of the cart
will  allow a larger child to climb in instead of having to lift them
into the cart (which I cannot do with Ashton's size)

Secondly, when he flaps and claps ... don't stare. Can you even begin to imagine how this makes him feel? It's his way of processing the sensory overload that he's experiencing. Imagine the sounds, sights and smells of a place like Walmart and magnify it, 100x. That's how he feels! I can guarantee you'd have to do something to help your body calm down. Also, don't assume he's doing it because he's mad or upset, he does indeed flap and clap when he's happy and overly excited too. The vocalizations are different. People (generally) seem to find happy noises more acceptable than upset/angry noises.

Third, if you see or (as the case will usually be) hear him screaming, don't rush to the conclusion that he is some horrible kid that can't control his behavior, or that I'm just enjoying hearing him scream and making you miserable. While yes, he is autistic and he has difficulties with communication and behavior, he still needs to learn to fit into this world. He does very well, most times. But well, we all have our bad days and well, I do the best I can to keep him from screaming and yelling and carrying on. However, sometimes it's just not possible. I do have to get groceries, pick up prescriptions, and get out of the house; just like everybody else. My son also needs to learn these life skills too, he's almost a teenager! Just remember, if you feel miserable because his screaming is bothering you, think about how him and I feel. I do my best to quickly leave the store (and have done so without my purchases too).

Lastly, if you see my son behaving oddly and aren't sure what to say..... don't stare, give weird looks and turn away.

What I hope you will do ......
If you don't know what to say..... just nod your head with a friendly smile, and walk away. However, if you're wanting to make a positive social interaction with my son, speak up and say "Hello, Young Man!" He loves positive interaction and will typically answer back with a "Hello, my name's Ashton!" He gets so excited for positive communications from people. If you see him melting down and screaming and crying, please ask me if I need any help. Don't feel badly if I say no, however. I most times can handle the crying and screaming and do my best to quickly remove my son and myself from the scene. Please know that I sincerely appreciate every kind look, every kind word, or even just moving out of my way if you see me running with a cart and a kid. I hate the stares, so don't. I hate the unkind words, leave them unspoken. But I do appreciate sensitivity. I appreciate kindness. I appreciate understanding. I also appreciate people who can look beyond the situation and notice that this is a child with special needs. I appreciate people who know and can spread awareness.


This post came to light today because I read this note, someone posted on Facebook: A Few Feet, and a World Apart. It spoke to me, and made me feel like maybe I need to get out into the open how sometimes the looks, stares and unkind words that I get out in public, make me feel. I am most certainly not the only one out there. I've copied it below for those that can't read it due to not being on Facebook. Thank you to Kristina for the permission to use this :) You Rock Girl!

I will feel better if I get this off my chest, even though I know the people who will read this are not the people to whom it is addressed...

You and I stand just a few feet, and a world apart.

You are the old lady in the restaurant who gave me a stern look, then elbowed her friends, so they could also stare at my daughter. You shook your heads in open disapproval. In your world, children aren't born 3 and a half months early, and they don't have life threatening strokes, therefore they have absolutely no excuse to be using a bottle at 4 years old. In my world, the fact that my daughter can take anything by mouth is both a miracle, and the result of years of painstaking effort.

You are the irritable man at the Science Center who gave my children a blatant look of disgust when they had trouble staying in their seat during your presentation. In your world, parents are expected to control their children in public, and children have no excuse to behave that way. In my world, my children have ADHD and autism, which makes sitting still very difficult for them, even when they are on medication and are really trying to behave. 

You are the lady in the mall who rolled her eyes at me because my daughter was making too much noise. In your world, parents should teach their children to use their "inside voice." In my world, the fact that my daughter can make any vocalizations at all is really amazing. Her left vocal cord is paralyzed from nerve damaged caused by a chest surgery which was done when she weighed less than 2 pounds. In my world, not all children are capable of understanding the concept of an "inside voice."

You are the neighbor who notices with dismay that my yard doesn't look quite as manicured as it once did. In your world, there is time and energy to put in to things like that. In my world, I am too exhausted to care much about the yard anymore. I have bigger concerns that consume my days and nights, important things like trying to teach my 4 year old how to communicate her basic needs.

-

You are the fair weather friends I once had, the ones who simply evaporated while I struggled for months to cope with having a critically ill child. In your world, friends are only worth having if they are always fun to be around, and aren't likely to need anything from you. In my world, friends don't need to be asked. They can see you need help, and are quick to offer it.

You are the checkout lady in the grocery store who said to me, "I am SO glad that isn't my kid," not realizing that it was my own son you were commenting to me about. He was having a meltdown, and my husband was taking him out of the store, while I checked out as quickly as I possibly could. In your world, children with special needs are a curse. You pity them, rather than value them as people. With your eyes, you see only their deficits. In my world, special needs children are a blessing beyond measure. They teach us invaluable lessons in gratitude, patience, faith, and the value of life. With my eyes, I can see the miracles you sadly fail to see.   

You are all the people who smugly pass judgment on us. I know most of you do so without knowing all the facts. I realize you measure our behaviors by the only rules that you know, the rules that govern your world. You can not know how deeply your thoughtless responses cut. On most days, I extend to you a courtesy you fail to give us. I silently pardon, and excuse your behavior. Because you do not live in my world, I know you can not begin to fathom how hard my children work to try to meet the expectations of your world, and that they are doing the best they can despite their challenges.

I both forgive, and sometimes envy you for your ignorance. 

...and so ends the rant....with my apologies.

_

To the special needs parents who read this, I would like to invite you to join my facebook support group for special needs parents "Loving a Miracle - Special Parents Supporting Each Other."

https://www.facebook.com/groups/325329864348?ap=1

If the link fails to work you can copy, and past it to your browser.

- Kristina Smith Blizzard

Have a nice day!

Camp Gonnawannagoagin

This video showcases the wonderful camp Ashton will be attending next week, Camp Gonnawannagoagin. I love the song that is playing, so I found the lyrics and copied them here.

Camp Gonnawannagoagin's premise is to allow autistic children and teens the opportunity to socialize with their neurotypical peers out in the community doing things that kids and teens like to do. In the past, Ashton's gotten to go to the movies (a favorite past-time of his, lol), go to the zoo, the aquarium, the beach, Ocean Breeze, swimming, the park, Jumpin Jellybeans, etc etc. He always has lots of fun and he's always very tired when I pick him up at the end of the day.

This is Ashton's 5th year in attending Camp Gonnawannagoagin. He's attended many weeks over the last 5years and this year will be attending four weeks! He's excited about seeing Ms Pam again and seeing his friends. He always has a great time and usually ends up leaving each day with tears and some sadness. I'm hoping with some maturity over the last year, that we can avoid the tears, but it lets me know that this is a place he loves being at and people that he loves and enjoys being with.

Hope they have some new books this year ;) I think he's read just about every book they have!! :)

Cold Play's "Talk" 

Oh brother I can't, I can't get through
I've been trying hard to reach you, cause I don't know what to do
Oh brother I can't believe it's true
I'm so scared about the future and I wanna talk to you
Oh I wanna talk to you
You can take a picture of something you see
In the future where will I be?
You can climb a ladder up to the sun
Or write a song nobody has sung
Or do something that's never been done

Are you lost or incomplete?
Do you feel like a puzzle, you can't find your missing piece?
Tell me how do you feel?
Well I feel like they're talking in a language I don't speak
And they're talking it to me

So you take a picture of something you see
In the future where will I be?
You can climb a ladder up to the sun
Or a write a song nobody has sung
Or do something that's never been done
Do something that's never been done

So you don't know were you're going, and you wanna talk
And you feel like you're going where you've been before
You tell anyone who'll listen but you feel ignored
Nothing's really making any sense at all
Let's talk, let's ta-a-alk
Let's talk, let's ta-a-alk 

Have a nice day!

**AWESOME** What a way to wrap up the week!

How do you follow up one really great day at school? You have another!

Here's the note home from Thursday......

I left your note about camp next week on ::regular teacher::'s desk and both teacher assistants are aware too. Ashton had a great morning! He transitioned extremely well from computer time today! He was the first one logged off the computer and lined up to go back to class. He led the way back to class. He worked with the occupational therapist again today for an hour too. He worked on Brainpop Math & Englsh today and took graded quizzes. He got 6 out of 10 on multiplication and 5 out of 10 on reading about an author, Roald Dahl. He worked really well. He also drew a picture for his journal today and showed the class. The topic was "What do you plan to do this weekend?". He shared with us that he plans to be happy and good. He got a sticker from the OT today and he earned extra free time on the computer time today from me. He read a book and went to the library and did an excellent job checking out a book. He should get his reward. Have a great weekend! ::sub teacher::

I cannot believe the total 180 degree turn-around that Ashton has made, even from just one month ago at school. That's what is most hardest to decipher, just one month ago, his school was still having such big issues with him. Why the sudden turn-around? Why, is he all of a sudden, trying new foods? Being more verbally appropriate? Acting more, dare I say it, neurotypical? Oh don't get me wrong, he's most definitely still autistic and always will be, but he's being more appropriate in just about every aspect of life. Yes, he's still having his moments, but overall, a major improvement in all areas; academic, behavior, social, communication, etc etc etc. Yay!

Then.... you follow up a great week at summer school, with a great 2hr session of ESY academic instruction! YES! He's totally rockin' this summer, which is awesome! So happy for all of the improvements.... :) :)

Have a nice day!

MAJOR improvements so far this summer

Wow - Ashton's verbal communications are way up, considering his connectedness to YouTube and the TV.  He's just making more sense, being more spontaneous and some of what he says, is downright hilarious! ex: he'll say..... "I said, a thousand times NOooo" with almost that same inflection.... LOL The kid cracks me up on a daily basis.

We've been working on identifying facial expressions; happy, sad, scared and mad/angry. Well, not only has he picked up on those four expressions, he now likes to make a game of it! Watching him try to contort his own face into each expression is absolutely priceless!

How can you not totally giggle at this silly boy? :) He's doing a great job identifying and showing emotions, even if we do still make it a game sometimes.

Even better? Read the note that got sent home today from summer school.......

Ashton did well today. He handled having a substitute teacher remarkably well. He had some minor difficulty transitioning from the computer lab back to the classroom, but he was able to make the transition from the computer activity he really enjoyed back to the classroom. He read a book today and did an excellent job sounding out some difficult words. He also led the class back to the classroom after lunch. He was helpful and made sure I did not get lost. After lunch he transitioned extremely well from putting his lunch bag up and going to a new setting to work with the occupational therapist. We had told him prior to lunch and had him meet the occupational therapist to help with the transition. He worked with the therapist for an hour. He had a good day and should get his reward. I will be here again tomorrow for ::regular teacher:: and then she will return on Monday.  Thanks  ::sub teacher::

How amazing. Well, not really.... I know he's capable of so much more than what he was producing with this past school year's teacher and staff. This note home, proves it. I'm keeping tabs on how he's doing with summer school, both with the teacher and also with the therapists so I can pass it along to current school's staff as a starting point for the fall. He'll start working with his ESY teacher on Friday; he's very excited about this, because she used to be his teacher when he was in 5th grade! She's quite aware of the situation that's gone on this year and is hopefully going to be a major key in helping him make some big gains over this summer to make up for what he lost or stalled on over the school year.

In other news.... Ashton's eating new foods! We had tacos last night for dinner and I made him one, with just meat and cheese. We eat our tacos on fried corn shells (soft) and I just rolled it up. He didn't want to eat it initially, but he did end up eating the whole thing! *thumbs up* Scored points for me! I often lament that he won't eat what we eat, and he always wants hot dogs & mac and cheese or chicken nuggets & fries. He's getting better about at least tasting (even if it's just to lick) the food, and now, he's even biting into and then eating the item. He's also started not only drinking a sip of milk when it's placed in front of him, he's asking for it! I'm trying to cut down on the amount of soda that he drinks (well, all of us really), so I told him once the pepsi in the pantry was gone, no more sodas! Well, he drank the last of it two days ago! He doesn't much like juice, and well, water does get boring after a while. So, yay me again! :) He's very happy to drink skim milk, woot!

It's been a big week in our house as you can see! To think, this is already the third week of summer break (well, not much of a break for Ashton). You may not be able to read the calendar... but you can see that there is something going on just about every single day!

Between summer school, ESY services and summer camp, Ashton's whole month of July is going to be gone before we know it. He doesn't really have any real free time, until mid-August! But, if the last three weeks are any indication, things are on the spiral upward and I can't wait to see the gains he continues to make and where he'll start his 7th grade year at. So proud of my big guy, he's working so hard to make himself fit into this world. You know, that whole 'square peg in a round hole deal'..... yea, that. He's trying desperately to fit into a world that doesn't always understand him and he's doing a fantastic job!

Have a nice night everyone!

First week of summer school = SUCCESS!

"Any rough times are behind you"

How poignant is THAT fortune?! hahahaha....

Well - the first week of summer school is OVER! :)

Ashton had a pretty good week, with only one real meltdown in the computer lab. NOT BAD!

He went on to have a good day on Thursday.. so he got to go see Cars 2 as his reward!!! It was a really cute movie and Ashton said "I want to see it again!" and Holden said "it was better than the first!"; to which I laughed because when I took them to see the original Cars at the movie theater, Holden fell asleep. He was only 4years old at the time and the movie is nearly 2hours long; he just couldn't quite make it through. Hahaha...

But yes - summer school is going pretty well! He was supposed to of seen his ESY OT at school on Thursday; I need to get ahold of her to see how it went. ESY teacher should be starting this week and well, who knows about ESY speech. Still haven't heard anything so I'm guessing one hasn't been found. Guess that means we'll be looking at compensatory services near the end of summer.

Have a Happy & Safe 4th of July weekend everybody!

I happened upon this blog post yesterday

It was titled Dear School Personnel, Community Members and Neighbors. I happened upon it from a friend's Facebook page who had linked to it. I have copied it in it's entirity here as it was written by Marianne, from The Life Unexpected: Raising a Special Needs Child. I plan to send this to my son's last year school teacher and will send it to his teacher in the fall as well as to any of the administrators that will deal with him on a day to day basis. It very poignantly describes what every person who knows a special needs child, or will come in contact with a special needs child should know. If you choose to copy this letter or blog post, please give credit to the ORIGINAL WRITER, as I have done above. Thank you!

To Whom it May Concern,

I am the parent of a special needs child.  I was overwhelmed, confused, heart broken and struggling to unravel the complexities before me.

Please do not pass judgement of me without knowing why I did not attend the school PTA breakfasts or community picnics.  Please take a few minutes to understand why I did not take you up on your offer to have lunch or grab a cup of coffee.  Although we see each other in the supermarket or at school functions, I don’t think you really ever knew me, actually, I can guarantee that you did not know me because just as my child was different, so was I.

I was in survival mode to keep my family in tact and to give my child the best quality of life possible.

I was presented with parental decisions that have torn me apart and kept me up more nights than I can possibly remember.

I had spent most days of the week at therapy and doctors appointments and most nights up researching treatments and medication options.

I was forced into isolation at times due to the stigma and misconceptions that are epidemic in our society.

I became proficient at prioritizing my life and learning to let the little things go, to look at others with compassion instead of tabloid material and to turn a blind eye to the stares or ignorant comments.

I did the best I could.

I survived.

I am one of the lucky ones, my child has blossomed and has exceeded all our expectations.

I have now become strong, I have become confident and I have become a fierce advocate for parents of special needs children.  The growth did not come without much pain and many tears but it came.

So I ask you, please

The next time you see a parent struggling with a raging child, a child terrified to go into school, a child making odd movements or sounds, a child that seems to be in a world of their own… .Be kind.  Give a smile of recognition for what that parent is going through.  Ask if there is anything you can do to help, give them a pat on the hand or offer for them to go ahead of you on line.

The next time you have a birthday party for your child remember that their child has a hard time with a lot of sensory issues and social situations.  Please send their child that invitation and know that more times than not they will not be able to attend but appreciate being included.  Understand that in order for their child to go to the party they may need to stay for a little while and please make them feel welcome.  When they let you know that their child cannot make the party consider inviting that child for a one on one playdate or an outing at the park.

The next time you are grading homework papers please understand that their child struggles, some with learning disabilities others with the exhaustion of  their disorders or the obsession with perfectionism.  The Perfectionism is not necessarily to have the answers right but to have it “feel” right for them.  They have spent hours doing what most can do in ten minutes. A paper returned with red circles and comments only hurts a child’s self esteem and causes school anxiety. Please understand that when they see the school come up on their caller ID their hearts sink, remember to tell them about all the gains their children are making as well as their deficits.  Take a minute before that call and know that they appreciate all you do and want  a collaborative  relationship in their child’s education.

The next time you are in the teachers lounge, please do not discuss their child.  Please do not make negative comments about their parenting or their child’s behavior, it gets back to them and it gets back to other parents in their community.

The next time you pass the cafeteria and see their child sitting alone please consider inviting that child to eat lunch in your classroom and be your helper that period.  Consider working with  guidance counselor to set up a lunch buddy group in a different area.

The next time they are at the CSE meeting planning their chid’s IEP know that they are educated, informed and confident knowing special education law.  Know that they have found the courage to stand up to conformity and will explore every option to give their child the differentiated educated that will show their gifts and not just their disabilities.  Understand that educating a child with special needs is one of the most difficult tasks a parent can face,  know that the last thing they want is an adversarial relationship.  Please show them the same respect they show you.

The next time you are creating an educational plan please take into consideration that their child may have specific interests or obsessions.  Foster those interests, instead of taking away that art class for a resource class consider adding an art class instead. Think outside the box, these parents do.

The next time you see that child in a wheelchair unable to speak or control their movements, don’t stare, don’t look away, say hello.  Do not assume that because this child is nonverbal that they are not intelligent or do not understand the awkwardness that you feel.  Take a moment out of your day to show kindness, support a parent enduring incredible pain and just give them a smile.

The next time your child comes home telling you how Johnny or Susie is so weird, take the time to teach about differences.  Take the time to talk  about compassion, acceptance and special needs. Please remember that your child learns from you.  Be a role model, mirror respect and discourage gossip.

The next time you hear a comment about how out of style these kids are, educate about tactile sensitivities and the fact that these kids cannot tolerate many textures and fits.  Imagine what it would feel like to have sandpaper in your stilettos or tight elastic holding on your tie.

The next time you see an out of control child do not assume it is bad parenting.  Understand that many of these disorders have an organic basis, are biological and are real illnesses. When you hear the word mental illness, take out the “mental” and remember  ”illness”.

Know that it is this generation that can stomp the stigma and create a world of acceptance.

The next time other parents are talking about “Those Kids” be our heroes, stand up for us.

The next time you see a special needs child know they are not just special in their needs but in their brilliance as well.

Take the time to meet our children.  Take the time to know us.

Have a nice day!